Adik menCARUT!

Kedatangan ke Birm disambut dgn tangan terbuka oleh budak Law 1 dan budak Law 2 yg sgt merindui kau. Padahal tidak lebih 24 jam kau berpisah dgn diorg. Jarak Birm dgn Coventry yg sekangkang kera pon tlah memotivatedkan diri kau utk dtg Birm. Sesampai di Birm, budak Law 1 telah mengajak kau dan mmber kau(bdk accounting) utk ke Coventry road. Jangan confused! Coventry road bkn brmkna kau berada di Coventry semula. Bleh bayangkan x? Queensland yg spatutnya dia Australia pon ad kat sini. Dalam kata laen, bila kau ad kat UK nie mcm kau ad kat semua negara. Cuma Lorong Hj Taib mmg xde kat sini, sbb maknyah2 mmg x suka beroperasi kat negara 4 musim. Nnt x nmpak plak susuk tubuh klu diorg beroperasi dlm musin sejuk sbb dok pkai sweater 24 jam.

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Di Coventry road, bdk law 1 bawak kau makan kat kedai ap ntah, yg kau x igt nama dia. Tp ad satu kedai mmg kau msti igt nama dia, Al-forno. Ala2 porno mmg sng kau nk igt! Astaghfirullah! Geleng2 kepala.

Part yg best kat Coventry road nie bla kau ditahan seorg bdk perempuan mntk kau duit 50pence sbb dia nk beli food. Haaa! mencarut kau sbb balik2 kau jek kena serang ngan org mntak sedekah nie. Ad cop Bank Negara ke kat dahi kau? Asal mntk duit jek msti kau yg kna! Terpinga2 kau nk bg duit ke x, sbb kau ad duit 10pound. Cmne die nk bg balance lg 9.50pound klu dia nk 50pence jek. Kwan2 kau yg lg 3 org nie hati pejal sket! Diorg dok hirau jek bdk tu, tp kau yg msih terpinga2. Ahh! trpksa lah kau pon bt muka topeng syaitan sket blah jek. Tp2...ad konversasi yg best dlm scene tu td....

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"can I have 50 pence to buy some food"

"no thanks!" sumpah budak law 1.

"you say no thanks for some food?" bdk tu balas balik...."please give me 50 pence" mntk lg bdk nih!

"bye2" carut budak law 2.

"ow, so you're such a GAY to say bye2 for a food" hambik kau budak law 2 kna carut balik ngan bdk tu!

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memasang tekad kau xnk dtg lg Coventry road. Kuat mencarut diorg nih!

Mati Kutu

Bila dikurniakan kawan yg bercita2 nk jadi lawyer nie, mmg kna pndai2 la paham sendiri. Nama pon nak jadi lawyer yg keje berckp tiap2 masa. Tambah2 bila diorg nie bkas bdk debate, bahas mahupun pantun. Pok pek pok pek diorg nie tiap2 masa. Tp dalam pok pek pok pek diorg tu xde la bnda mngarut yg diorg cakap, cma kadang2 tersasar sket. Mana tak, klu dh jmpe kawan laen terkeluar la sket sifat kanak2 ribena. Macam kawan saya yg 2 org nie. Budak law 1 dan Budak law 2. Dua2 mmg sgt la banyak mulut, suka bercakap. Ad jek citer diorg nie, tp yg pasti best la.

Maka, dijadikan cerita, satu hari kami dijemput la makan malam kat rumah bekas pelajar STAR. Diorg pon bercuti kat London. Suruh makan, mmg laju la kitorg pegi kan. Tambah2 sedap plak tu. Bertambah2 pinggan nasi ditelan. Bila dh habis mencekik, cm bese la smbung borak2, macam2 citer yg keluar.Mostly yg buat kau mati kutu. Budak law, tambah2 minat politics. Mmg tula topik diorg dok borak! Yg kau nie, nganga sorg2 bt2 paham dgn terangguk2, tergeleng2. Utk lebih, selamat dr kelihatan sgt bodoh, maka guna la kau ayat "betul!". Tanda setuju. Setuju ap kau pon xtau.

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"Uncle klu, saya sebut nama org nie, saya nak uncle bg response. Saya nk dgr". " Nazri Aziz"

tambah budak law 1".

"Owh, uncle tak tau sgt..He's full of tricks..bla bla bla..."

"Uncle rase spe org paling layak jd Pm after Najib?"

"erm..*******"

"Hishamuddin??"

"???????"

"Sya rasa, kta x bleh slhkan kerajaan 100%, sbb sbg contoh klu dlm degree, kta score 72%, still 1st class lg. So, klu kerajaan tu perform only 72%, tp still ok nk dibandingkan dgn parti2 laen yg blom tntu score brpe".

"betul ap you cakap".

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terkebil2 mata, dgr dgn penuh bosan. Nasib la budak law 2, tidak terjebak di dalam perbincangan dia atas. Klu tidak mungkin smpai ke pagi kau terangguk2 dan tergeleng2 smbil ckap "betul!"

*thanks to Uncle Tamunif, Auntie Za, Thaqif, Taquiddin n adik bongsu! sedap makan malam tu!*

Kau pon sama!!!

Bapak seronok weiyh dpt lpak ngan mmber2 lma, tmbah2 klu diorg pon sma kpla bngong cm kau jgk. Bt lwak bodo cm mne pon kau ttp gelak sbb dh sah2 kau pon ala2 bodo cm diorg gak. Bkn nk kata korg bodo, tp bunyi lawak tu bosan n bodoh klu dngar bnyk2 kali. Bosan + Bodoh = bodo. Haih, yg kau pon sma x matang. Jln kat cerok mana pon tula keje kau, nyanyi lagu je keje. Weiyh kau! Suara x sdap la. Mau taufan salji klu kau nyanyi lama2. Hati gelak2 puas sbb kutuk diri sndri. Bab bt lawak bodo tu, haih... Mmg x matang la. Mntang2 la kau kat negeri org, kau jerit kuat cmne pon bkn org pham. Terkinja2 kat tube station smbil gelak kuat haram pon org x kesah. Tp bgus jgk sbb korg tau nk cntrol bla nmpak pak cik/ makcik/ awek pakai tudung lalu. Sbb kau tau diorg paham. Nseb ad sket otak nk pkir malu. Bla dh gelak puas2, tbe2 igt plak hadis x bg gelak bnyk2, bleh keras hati. Haaa, lagaklah kau mcm org alim utk seminit. Lpas tu setan msuk blik dlm bdan maka mengilai lg kau. Yg pling best bla ad bhan nk bt lwk, mmg nseb la org tu. Wlau x knal spe diorg, ad kau n mmber2 kau kesah. Haa! Mati kau kna kutuk. Kau pon angguk jek gelak sma. X gelak mau diorg ckp kau x normal. Kadg2 kau sndri jd bahan diorg bt lwak. Redha je la sbb nk nmpk cool org kutuk2 kau. Klu kau melenting nnt mmber kau ungkit plak bla msa kau ktuk diorg. So redha jek kau dikutuk. Habes citer. Klu ko lwn jgk kutukan diorg tu, nnt ad la sorg mmber yg akn mngalah smbil ckp " yela... Ak je la yg..........". Maka kau pon geleng2 kpala sbb dh bosan dgr ayt org surrender. Yg pling best, bla kau introduce word p**d*k. Suma org kau nk ckp muka p**d*k. X psal2 dh jd word favorite time bt lwak bodo. Bab* ngan anjing tu dh mcm pelengkap kata dh. Siap bt lgu bab* lg sbb sejuk sgt kowt. Ngok ngok bunyi korg bt. Hmpir sebiji. Klu kau rse insaf, nnt kau sndri tau nk geleng2 kpala. Tp bla setan bnyk sgt, kau pon join sama. Ngok ngok! Siap puji mmber sbb bunyi diorg lg sdap. Tula rutin korg tiap mse, smpai la korg tido. Senyap la kejap. Esok smbung lg, sbb yakin sgt roh akn msuk dlm jasad balik. Cba pkir klu ajal dh nk smpai. Mau korg x tido bca zikir. Yg kwan sorg nie sweet la sgt, slalu update awek dia... Fuh! Ayat romntik punyew! Lmbut jek ckp, tp kau kat bwh dh meremang bulu roma sbb x than dgr. Tp psal mmber nk bahagia ko dduk la bwh duvet smbil pekakkan telinga. Klu x bleh jgk, kau psang la lagu maher zain kuat2 n dgr gna earphone. No offense ^^.

@ TRaiN

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excited giler dtg London berkapasitikan niat utk jmpe Sir Putra ngan shopping. Belasah la naek train pndai2 sndiri brpandukan tube map di iphone. Dlu survive sbb senior yg bwk. Tp lupa plak ad kat London, bla nak naek train maen redah aje nk msuk. Padahal rmai lg nk kluar. Nah!! Ambik kau kna stare tajam punya ngan mat salleh sorg dr luar tgkap tube. Msti dia nmpak cop kat muka ak, "saya anak MALAYSIA". Sorry r brother! Gua bajet nie lrt...

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Pnat giler jln2 kat London, so pantang la nmpk kerusi kosg dlm tube, mmg ak punye la. Smpai plak kat station yg rmai pulak org nk naek, maka masuklah sefamily yg kecoh giler. Strt ngan mak dia yg jerit2 sruh org msuk lg. Pastu bebel2 dpn ak. Ad ak kesah! Yg pnting ak dduk. Ank dia sorg lelaki ngan sorg pompuan. Yg laki2 bajet hebat sbb marah adik pmpuan dia brdiri tnpa pegang tiang. " I'm pro! You cannot" adik dia bt muka. Maka train pon cm bese r brhnti kat next station. Pap! Si abg nk trgolek tp seb baek smpt pgang tiang. Huh!! Ambik kau! Pro sgt!

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Bla train dh kosg lega la skit. Hmmm... Kat dpn ak ad 2 mamat Pakistan ke bangla ke x pasti. Diorg bork2 gna bhasa ap xtau. Jgn kutuk ak sudah. Tiba2 sorg mamat nie buka spec dia pastu guna bt korek telinga. Woi! Siot pengotor!!! Lap kat glove plak tu. Kwn dia bt xtau jek. Haih... Sumpah pengotor!

Value of 5 cents...

When we were staying at Venice, the owner of the house that we live in gave us some coins. By looks, it's not the usual Euro coins, it has no value on face, but actually carried a value of 1 Euro. The coins can be only use at his own small shop, guard by the CCTV, the vending machines shop! He gave us the coins to buy coffee or any drinks or even snacks if we like to. On the last night at Venice, as usual we dropped by at the shop to buy some drinks. Actually we wanted to use all the coins given to us. At the same time, there's one Italian girl inside the shop. She looks like searching a snack to buy, then we just stay behind. Once, she looked at us and turns back to the vending machines. She seems very blur at that time. Maybe she don't know what to buy. After a while she turns to us back and asking a question fully in Italian. Erk?? We were looking at her with a blur face. We ask her whether she can speak English. She tried so hard to explain to us that she actually do not have enough coins to buy a snack, 60 cents chocolate. We only figured out when she point at the amount of the coins that she has already put in, 55 cents. Then she opened her palm and there're 4 cents left. Then, she asked if we got another 1 cent or a 5 cents coin, by her body language. Yorke said he has no coins left, and KN pretending that he has no coins. Then I opened my wallet and there's only the coins that the owner gave us. I tried to give her the coin but she refused because as I said, the coins doesn't look like usual Euro coins. I tried to explain, but she can't really understand. Finally she bought a 30 cents snack which is actually a plain biscuits. I felt so sorry to her as I can't explain about the coins. When she left the shop, I was thinking why not I bought the chocolate that she wanted to buy and give it to her, as I still got 4 extra coins. As I laid on the bed that night, I can't really sleep , because I kept on seeing her face in my mind. I felt really2 upset as I can't help her. And I just don't know why my heart can be easily touched.

the coins, with no value on face..

the snack she wanted to buy - no 30

snack she bought - no 39

Cerita si Mat Salleh!

*Oleh kerana paparan kali ini ditujukan khas untuk mat2 dan minah2 salleh kat Warwick nie, jadi kena la pkai bahasa melayu sepenuhnye. Kecuali WARWICK! sbb xtau nk memelayukannye.

Pertama kali masuk kuliah, muka cuak kan! oooooo!!! muka sekor2 cam gempak. Mata biru, otak warna ape x tau...lg satu yg pelik fenomena kat sini, ssah nk teka umur diorg...sekor2 cam umr 22 tahun ke atas...tp org kata diorg ad yg lg muda dr ak....wooooo.... bapak muka diorg cepat tua! ya2!! dalam kuliah mula la mengumpat, sbb diorg x paham kan! naseb kau la xnk belajor bhs melayu!dalam minggu ke-3 cmtu, bapak kecewa bila tau ad klas kecik2 yg kna pecah ngan populasi melayu....smpai bila nk hidup klu nk dduk ngan melayu jek ye dak? bila masuk kelas....eeeeerrrrr....nk tny nama diorg pon cuak....ye r!! umur ad yg muda, tp ukuran badan mak oiii cm bapak org...mau kna penampar! haha.....dduk jela diam2 wat hal sendiri...kesudahnye smpai sekarang pon xtau nama diorg... lantaklah! ad aku kesah!

Yg nk citer nye kat sini, klu klas yg kena bg2 pandangan nie mmg gagal la ak kan! tula! dulu mse umur setahun mak suruh baca *the star* xnk! bapak menakutkan dpt parents yg lahir2 kna bca surat khabar! klu bahasa melayu xpe, nie trus2 nk inggeris jek! maka matilah ak, sepnjg kelas doa2 jgn la si cikgu kat depan nie target ak sruh bg buah fikiran....mau ak x dtg kelas dh mggu dpan...nsebla xde cikgu yg cmtu..klu x mau mati gantung diri...(smbil lagu latar belakang give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance....)....bila sruh merapu pandai, bg pandangan mula bt muka 1 penny! tp2....... diorg nie xde la hebat semuanye.... klu klas2 yg kna bt keje rumah nie, kemungkinan diorg gagal tu tggi r...ad sekali tu minah salleh tny cmni, "awak buat x keje rumah mggu nie"... ak pon jwb la, "buat!"...bg dia cuak sket! "ahhhh...awak semua bt!" dia balas balik....ak pon bt muka 1 pound lak...mahal seket! yg seronoknye, bila diorg jeling2 jawapan korg smbil bajet korg x perasan.... ak pon alih la tgn bg diorg tgk...cm korg bt la slalu... tgn gaya cm maen2 rmbut, mata nuh tegak kat jawapan... naseb la kau, jwapan ak btol ke x tiru je la!

nway, ad jgk bdk yg ak knal ok dlm klas ak! siap tkar2 no tel lg! bajet klu nk bincg ap2 la.... tu pon bnda yg menakutkan! sbb xtau nk carut ap kat diorg......yg pasti kat tesco bnyak daging babi tgh offer!

READ!! Judge on me!

I wasn't sure how can I define people as my best friends.

If I was closed to you, it doesn't me we are best friend.

And its mean the same too me, I'm not your best friends.

How should I know you classified me as your best friend?

The was no answer, because its only you who knew it.

If you're one of my best friends,

I promise you my sincerity of being your friends.

If you're my best friends,

I promise your my eyes to take care of you,

What you do wrong, I'll let you know.

What's your problems, I'll let my ears to hear you.

What you can't do, I'll lend my hand to help you.

When you have something sad, I'll try to cheer you up.

When you faced something bad, I'll down into that.

If you're my best friend!

I hope you realised that!

Looks by Your Heart!

Praise to Allah! I'm so grateful to be a MUSLIM.

As I know to whom I suppose to say thanks!

As MUSLIM, I knew who created such a beautiful creations.

and again THANK YOU ALLAH!

Grrrrrrr!!!~

*nak merepek dalam bahasa melayu jap...

harini dok menggelabah sbb x siap lg kerja rumah QAM1*, sbb smlm mmg blurrrr gila ngan soalan,

walaupun org ckp stats tu sng, tp tibe2 rase susah (simptom malas). Lalu snap picture jawapan org yg dh abes kelas, dan salin cara berhemah**. Salin dlm library kat prayer hall Warwick. Dduk sebelah seorang jejaka yg perlu dirahsiakan identitinya. Khusyuk dia maen laptop, macbook! (clue ke nie?)...warna putih..(tmbah lg clue)....smbil khusyuk2 maen laptop, smpat gak dia makan sesuatu yg ad dlm cawan, guna sudu! ak yg tgh fokus salin jawapan nie rase nak la sgt sepak dia laju2! dh la bunyi sudu bersentuhan dgn cawan tu cukup menyakitkan hati (bkn sbb lapar), bila dia suap makanan dalam mulut, dia guna gigi utk tarik makanan tu. Paham ke? bunyi mengilukan..nk tau ap tu ngilu, g ambik dua btg sudu, pastu laga2...tau la ko nnt ap tu ngilu...bkn mengilukan sahaja, malah sgt "annoying" sbb dlm tu mmg sunyi dan jelas bunyi tu + ad minah mne ntah dok borak2 ngan jejaka... arghhhh! lg la rase nk bg penampar..

Amaran :

klu makan guna sudu, jgn la trik makanan tu gna gigi...cba la try, cnfirm ak bt muka! muka rse nk sepak korg laju2.... guna bibir ke lidah ke bleh x!!!

*QAM1 -quantitative analysis for management 1

** salin cara berhemah - before salin baca soalan dulu, pastu bt2 pikir jawapan dan tinkk! ad dh jawapan

To Do List~

Early target :

1. Degree > First Class Degree with Honour.

2. English > Improve my english language skills by communicating with local students! Speak with British essence. "sure!"

3. Culture > Learn about the culture of people from various country. Try to adapt the British way of life.

4. Friends > Meet new friends and be friendly with other people, especially from Europe, Middle-East, America. Not just from Asia and MALAYSIA.

5. Food > Try to learn to eat local food. English food. Spaghetti, sandwich, fries. Less "Nasi". Its good to miss Malaysian food!

6. Weather > Enjoy the 4 seasons! Snow in Winter! Beautiful flowers during Spring! Autumn breeze! Bikini in summer??

End Of Term 1 :

1. Degree > "Can you consider 2nd class upper??" Too lazy to do the assigments! sigh...

2. English > Mengumpat mat salleh dalam bas best wooo!!! bukan dia paham!!!! (Jahanam english skills).

3. Culture > Join "joget" for MNight. Pray 5 times a day!(Must do ok!). Party?? Astaghfirullah!!

4. Friends > In every lecture there's Malays territory! Sit in between Puteri Ameera and Shahida Tomiran. Next day, Nur'ain Farhanah and Izali. KN always skip! Local students? "I tgk you, you tgk I".....

5. Food > "I'm so crazy for karipap!!! roti canai!!!! Every Tuesday and Thursday, you better faster! Abg Fuad beb jual food!!!

6. Weather > Winter- Grrrrrr.......sit in front of heater! (mulut carut2...), Autumn- Everyday wear sweater! No fashion! Spring- Malaysia got beautiful flowers too what? Summer- "Please come to me!!! "